


Deathly Black

by tara_noir



Category: Original Work
Genre: Original work - Freeform, Other, Poetry, lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:03:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14030781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tara_noir/pseuds/tara_noir
Summary: A combination of various songs/poetry I've been working on as of late.  Only time will tell whether they'll make it onto an actual album, we'll just have to wait and see ;)Warning:  contains sensitive material relating to:  child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, self-harm, trauma, death, suicide, grief, etc.  Remember to practice self-care before, during, and after reading.





	1. The Mystery of Evil

The Mystery of Evil

 

hurt me one time and i will find you.  
leave me in the dark one time and i will find you.  
cut me down to size, and i will find you.  
lead me to my own hell, and i will find you.

a mistaken identity?  
the wrong target?  
don't tell me.  
do you discriminate?  
or prey on everybody?  
don't tell me.

likened to the dawn breaking on a dying day, i will find you.  
likened to a rabid hound on a scent trail, i will find you.  
likened to a primal hunter in the dark, i will find you.  
likened to an armageddon descending, i will find you.

from the valley of the shadow of death  
i will come for you  
the mystery of evil  
i will come for you  
a viral agent in a hot zone  
i will come for you  
the vengeance you deserve  
i will come for you

on the dark night of my own undoing  
i will come back to haunt you.  
i remember very well  
when you told me  
that i was the problem  
and that nobody would believe my side  
that i was worth nothing to anything  
or anybody  
some things never die.

some things never die  
some things never die  
some things never die  
some things never die  
some things never die

some things never die, you know.

some things never die.

some things never die, you know.

i will never die  
i will never die 

and i'm coming for you.


	2. Requiem

Requiem

 

i'm never coming back  
it won't let go  
it won't give in  
it's burning through my mind

how did i get through it?  
why am i here?  
how have i  
not yet been broken?

i had everything  
but you took it all from me  
i had a home here  
but you took it all from me  
i had a safe zone  
but you took it all from me  
i had a paradise  
but you took it all from me

i don't know where i am  
who am i?  
who are you?  
why did you do it?

and i have nothing left  
all torn out  
filed down  
all by your own hand

requiem  
requiem   
requiem   
requiem 

i had everything   
but you took it all from me   
i had a home here  
but you took it all from me  
i had a safe zone  
but you took it all from me  
i had a paradise  
but you took it all from me


	3. In the Black Void

In the Black Void

 

i fell deep in  
into the black void  
where i'll be haunted 'till i die

they pushed me under  
covered my face and  
closed the lid so now i can't breathe

i don't know who they were  
but i do know they wanted me thirteen feet under  
i don't know why they did it  
but i do know i won't come back the same

i'll never give in to you, i'll find my way out of here

i pulled his head back  
ripped it open, made him feel  
what he put me through

i had to hurt him  
i had to let him know  
that i wouldn't stand for it

i don't know how you found me  
were you there waiting all along?  
and now you've driven me hellbound  
you violated me, and won't let me forget

i have to put this to an end, you know that  
i have to leave you to the dark, you know that  
i have to get rid of you, you know that  
i have to cut all the lines, you know that

i'll never give in to you, i'll find my way out of here  
i'll never give in to you, i'll find my way out of here  
i'll never give in to you, i'll find my way out of here  
i'll never give in to you, i'll find my way out of here

i don't know if  
i can escape from here  
i can barely see the light

so i turn to you  
offer my hand  
and say, "i forgive you."


	4. Wildfire

Wildfire 

 

i am wildfire   
my light reflecting   
i am here   
can you see me?   
can you see me?

i am carnage  
no surrender   
an inferno   
can you hear me?  
can you hear me? 

burning through a twisted landscape   
a divine intervention   
will you come and meet me?   
will you come and meet me?


	5. The Cold World

The Cold World

 

i break out  
i move fast  
i'd die rapidly to outrun the past  
enter the cold world

i want war  
i crave death  
i forgive but i don't forget   
enter the cold world

you don't know me, you don't want to know me  
you won't have me, you don't want to have me  
you can't take me, you don't want to take me  
you won't hold me, you don't want to hold me down

i'm out of my head  
it's really fucked up  
what you want is what i've got  
enter the cold world

i won't beg  
i won't plead  
you'll never bring me to my knees  
enter the cold world

i'd take your money  
i'd kill your children  
i'd push the button  
just to see the world burn


	6. Burn

Burn

 

there is a road  
branched out into two different paths  
one leading left and one leading right.  
i've seen this before.  
i'm familiar with the nightmares   
i've lived through it in the real world   
located between a modern day scylla and charybdis.

i keep telling you, over and over again,  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.  
over and over again,  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.

i don't want to fall asleep   
that alone could be lethal   
i'm tired of memories masquerading as dreams  
i feel like hell  
i feel sicker than i've ever been.  
i'm surrounded by others but feel more than alone.

keep telling you, over and over again,  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.  
over and over again,  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.

i was once told,  
'stop acting like the village idiot.  
it was all your fault and you know it.'  
but i knew better than to believe that.  
and it's been haunting me even more by the day.  
if i'm lucky maybe it will kill me.

over and over and over   
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.  
over and over and over  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.  
over and over and over  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.  
over and over and over  
i'd do anything, i'd do anything, anything to watch you burn.


	7. Dying Again in Another Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *trigger warning*

Dying Again in Another Life 

 

the world went mad  
i went with it  
naked before you in a  
green room  
you brought her in here  
alone  
i became her  
i didn't want to 

i leave my body and then  
watch it all from outside  
i knew i'd never get out  
dying again in another life 

your trademark move  
to cut me open and flay me alive  
pour burning oil  
straight into my wounds  
tell me you love me  
but that you had to hurt me too  
if i hadn't been tied down  
i would have  
killed you

i leave my body and then  
watch it all from outside  
i knew i had to give in  
dying again in another life


	8. Shiver

Shiver

 

i stand at the point of no return  
and i'm afraid of it.  
i took a vow to perform a ritual of self-sacrifice  
but can i go through with it?  
i hurt the only one i could love  
and i'm ashamed of it.  
i want to take myself apart one more time  
before i go numb.

when this place sends a chill right through you   
this place   
when this place sends a chill right through you  
this place

i can't tell the difference between love or lust  
but i fear both of them.  
i don't know if i can look at you  
without being accused of a nonexistent crime.  
god couldn't give a damn about me   
i'm doing this all on my own.  
how do you say no to somebody   
without cutting all the connections?

when this feeling sends a chill right through you   
this feeling  
when this feeling sends a chill right through you   
this feeling

this condition is enough to make anybody shiver  
this situation is enough to make anybody shiver  
this affliction is enough to make anybody shiver  
turn over your good heart only to die empty and abandoned

when this world sends a chill right through you   
this world  
when this danger sends a chill right through you   
this danger

you'll shiver when you think of it.  
you'll shiver when you think of it.  
you'll shiver when you take the plunge  
you'll shiver when you turn the corner  
you'll shiver when you expose yourself to hell  
only to die empty and abandoned.

i stand at the point of no return   
and i'm afraid of it.


	9. Alienscape

Alienscape

 

out in the alienscape   
i run blindly  
the canyon echoes its volition

don't look back  
don't look at them   
they'll never let you get out alive.

i'm in an alienscape   
i don't know where i'm heading 

out in the alienscape   
vultures circle   
waiting to feed off your shallow grave 

just run  
don't talk  
the burning wheel comes ever closer 

get away  
they told me to get away  
get as far away from the river as you can

i'm in an alienscape  
i don't know where i'm heading

out in the alienscape   
sandstone crashing  
a dim echo of you with me 

they'll rape everything in their path  
don't stick around  
grab your purity and forget your only friend.

don't run to them  
don't talk to them   
don't tell them why you're here

i'm in an alienscape   
i don't know where i'm heading


	10. Dream Demon

Dream Demon

 

as i move further outward  
i catch the attention of a dream demon   
i feel you're everywhere

i've heard too many stories   
i've seen too many prophecies   
i know you're everywhere 

you killed my being   
you raped my sanity  
you broke everything that i am  
i'm not willing  
and i'll let you know it  
and if i'm going to hell you're going with me

you burned through the black forest   
you vaporized the entire city  
i can tell you're everywhere

i've lost everything   
but i feel nothing  
i fear you're everywhere 

you acted like my god  
you treated me like your slave   
you annihilated my already chaotic world  
i want to think for myself, but   
how can i come up for air without you pulling me back down?

you sit atop the ruin  
you command the dark to rush in  
you keep me under your cruel hand   
you say i'd be dead without you  
you tell me i'm nothing to you   
you hold me under you   
and then climb on top of me 

i still lie here  
your name carved all over me  
i'm more than finished with you  
not even the faintest consolation   
not even one kind word  
i'm more than finished with you


	11. Deathly

Deathly

 

fight the dream for as long as you can   
don't let them win  
as the nightmares pave the way to their satisfaction   
you will not be afraid  
immune to their cruelty as they force their inhumanity upon you   
feel them touching you from all sides   
but whatever you do don't back out   
i won't relive it again   
did you hear what i said?  
i've had more than enough 

i don't know where to go from here   
i feel like i've come down from a drug   
the eye of the storm greets me for a moment   
and then the wall closes in from the outside 

they tell me it's all in my head  
they tell me i'm to blame for all of it  
they tell me everything happens for a reason   
but what kind of god would bring this down upon anyone at all?

i've been chased down the same paths too many a time   
terror renders me immobile   
this isn't real, this isn't real  
i can't get out of here  
i'm in a darkened parallel world, i may never come home  
and i want out  
the realization comes to me that it's not a dream but a memory   
i'll draw the line and i'm not coming back 

when will it end so i can wake up from it?  
another vicious cycle turning in me   
i see things that no one else should have to   
as the moon bleeds out into the dark 

i remember all too well the circumstances that brought me here   
they tell me this is a part of healing from it  
i cut the only cord that ties me to reality   
and i don't look back, don't look back


	12. It Leaves Me Empty

It Leaves Me Empty

 

it took over me like a  
malevolent apparition   
it went through me like a  
sharpened knife  
it drained me like a  
vampiric entity  
now it won't go away

i feel it  
it leaves me empty  
it throws me down  
it holds me under  
i can't get rid of it  
i don't want it  
cut it out of me before i do away with it myself 

it's been many years   
it's been eternity  
i belong to it  
but i won't let it be a part of me 

one quick bite, and then it's over  
you'll never be the same  
the mark left on you will never fade away 

it kills all the feeling i had in me  
it erodes all the trust i had in me  
it consumes all the love i had in me  
i'll never be who i was again  
i'll carry this to the grave  
cut out of me before i do away with it myself 

i don't know   
if i'll ever completely heal from this  
take me away  
take me away to where it can never find me  
leave me


	13. Black Day

Black Day

 

you took the bullet  
and never came back.  
god wanted you out of here   
how i hate him.

a black day  
set itself in me  
so i   
burned any thought of you  
from my long ravaged memory.

i can't save you.  
i can't save you.

i wander around  
in circles by the highway  
living in an alienscape   
fuck it all.

i want to take your place  
it should have been me, not you  
i'm impure  
and already dead inside.

they can't save you.  
they can't save you.

r.i.p.  
your god can't save you.  
r.i.p.  
it's too late to pray for you.

take me, take me instead.

he can't save you.  
he can't save you.

god couldn't care less about me  
if he did i'd be long out of here  
but i'm not  
so fuck him too.

i can't save you  
i can't reclaim you from the white sheet   
i would have given you all my blood  
but time ran out

i can't save you.  
i can't save you.

you went to be with god?  
tell him i'm coming  
with you.  
i'll shatter the firmament   
and bring you back to life.

so you're really gone.  
i don't care anymore   
i don't know anymore  
i've discovered a new death  
it's called the 'miracle' of birth.

i can't save you.  
i can't save you.


	14. Deepfreeze

Deepfreeze

 

there's a deepfreeze in me  
my heart got black and cold   
i went ahead and let  
all hell unfold.

i want to be rid of it  
i want it to go away  
i don't want it to take over me   
i want to kill it  
i want to melt it down  
i don't want it to take over me

so i hurt you  
and that i take the entire blame for   
i know how you were affected  
but spitting profanities in my face won't make you any better than me

i'm no longer wasting words on useless apologies 

i tried to warn you.  
i told you i had that poison in me.  
i only ask that you forgive me   
for i can barely forgive myself.


	15. Resurrect

Resurrect

 

you created me  
in the hope i'd be a failure  
to resign myself to the utmost  
and to create for me a fate  
far bleaker than the hottest hell   
worse than death itself

it's been a long time  
a long time  
never had i thought it would come to this   
there's no place for me to run now   
now that they've arrived  
i have come here to die

there i go into battle with yet another nightmare   
i'm craved by the evils so they can exercise their power  
i live for the danger, climbing the high  
i fall to the ground and then resurrect   
and let the burning air take me 

creator  
you have long abused your power   
creator  
i will not be a pawn in your sick game   
creator  
to your will you had me bending  
i now arise and rewrite the ending


	16. Abyss Treader

Abyss Treader

 

abyss treader  
thrill chasing never felt like a pastime  
abyss treader  
in a kill-or-be-killed world  
abyss treader  
waiting silently by the outskirts  
and then moving into the danger zone.

open the gate  
(i'm entering hell)  
i await my fate  
(but ready to run at a moment's notice)

abyss treader  
i made a pact with the devil tonight  
abyss treader  
and i may not get out alive  
abyss treader  
in the distance a lone figure approaching  
a black jaguar going in for the kill  
but i'm not afraid, never been afraid of dying  
abyss treader  
i feel something pull deep in me  
abyss treader  
but i stand alone in the faltering light  
hold on, hold on tight.

abyss treader, abyss treader

open the gate  
(i'm entering hell)  
i await my fate  
(but ready to run at a moment's notice)

abyss treader  
two dark forces soon to be aligned by morning  
abyss treader  
the thirteenth hour has drawn near  
abyss treader  
i've been awaiting this for a long time  
and now it's finally here.

open the gate  
(i'm entering hell)  
i await my fate  
(but ready to run at a moment's notice)


	17. Living for Misery

Living for Misery

 

i approach  
but exercise caution  
why should i be afraid of you?

i've heard too many accounts  
on what could go wrong   
preparation for further misery  
they say it won't take long

all i've known  
but didn't want it  
i fought back until my pride gave out

do you know  
how hardwired i've become?  
living for misery  
under the influence of an incorrigible doubt

i'm not worthy  
of your kindness  
i'm not worthy  
of your generousity

i'm not afraid  
i don't want to be afraid anymore  
everything will be all right, everything will be all right  
i'm coming forward  
i no longer dread it, i'm coming forward  
everything will be all right, everything will be all right

i'm living for misery  
get me out

get me out


	18. Another Option

Another Option

 

day of the dead  
a kick inside  
body gives way  
to a new kind of enemy  
there's got to be another option 

the world prepares   
for another human being  
to drain away  
all that we have left  
there's got to be another option 

kill it now  
kill it quick   
don't look back  
burn it out  
cut it open  
it don't matter how   
just as long as it's not living  
there has to be another option 

the fatality rate   
rising to a high  
a new record set  
for a developed country   
there's got to be another option 

they vow to protect  
the sanctity of life  
yet they spare no room  
for the ones already existing  
there's got to be another option

trap them in  
lock them up  
tie them down  
no consent needed  
bleed them good  
bleed them out  
there will be no other option

cold white room  
no hope here  
bright light burns away  
any thought of escaping  
there has to be another option 

make no mistake  
or you'll get caught  
the very same thing  
could happen to you too  
there will never be another option.


	19. Threads

Threads

 

the wind rattles tangled branches  
against the cold windowpane  
do you think of me?  
i wonder if you'd remember.

i'm told of forgiveness  
i'm told to forget  
i'm told to blame myself  
i'm told to regret.

i'm crawling on your floor  
i'm climbing up your wall  
i'm hanging from your ceiling  
i'm ready to fall.

i want to enter your dream.  
like you always did with me.  
how would you feel?  
could you even look at me?

'i won't beg for mercy  
that won't move a dark heart like yours.  
instead i'll scatter all my broken parts to the wind  
for you to find and put back together again.'

i long for solace  
i long for secrecy  
i long for comfort  
i long for security.


End file.
